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Uncle Joe has been a real jerk, so a bad tie ought to do. Aunt Betty doesn't like anything, so what's the use? The neighbor's a must, though his party's always a bust.

Amidst the good, the bad and the ugly are those who should, by all rights, be at the top of the gift-giving list. Give special gifts to the ones who love us unconditionally — Fido and Kitty. Well, Fido for sure.

If anyone deserves our holiday best, it's our pets. Toward that end, we've ferreted out five furry possibilities for holiday gifts for your pets.

1. SoSadie Fine Pet Furnishings

Robbie Quinton has created a handsome doggie bed as well as pet accessories.

''I constantly see people with half a million dollar homes, furnished to the nines, whose dog sleeps on an old blanket. So I have created a bed suitable for the cherished pet,'' said Irwin, a furniture (for humans) manufacturer's rep, who named her company after her own dog, Sadie.

The beds offer steel construction, a powder epoxy finish, pierced metal seat and come in three fabric choices — bones, x's and o's, and a designer's circle pattern. The Stylish and comfortable beds, are available at Bone du Jour in Cool Springs.

Quinton may be reached at 834-7701 . The Web site is http://www.sosadie.com/.

2. Bone du Jour Gourmet Pet Bakery and Boutique, Cool Springs.

If they don't have it, Fido and Kitty don't need, or want, it.

This unique boutique bakes up fresh treats daily and has a wealth of gifts in every price range. From holiday sweaters to toys, it's all here for good little girls and boys. Located at 420 Cool Springs Blvd. The telephone is 503-9742.

3. T.J. Maxx

This holiday-savvy retailer has our pet friends in mind with pet beds, bowls, gourmet treats, pillows, even hand towels in doggie motif (for use by the humans). Holiday hours at both stores, 545 Cool Springs Blvd. and 300 Franklin Road in Brentwood, are 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Saturday and 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sundays. Call 771-4085 or 661-8834, respectively.

4. Love and kisses

Julia Duke of The Privileged Pet will come to play with your pet or take him or her for a doggie day out. Its a priceless gift in any currency.

In the pet-sitting business for more than a decade, Duke also provides daily and overnight services to those left behind when the rest of the family goes off for fun.

Her Web site is http://www.theprivilegedpet.com/, e-mail is Julia@theprivilegedpet.com and cell phone number is 586-3131.

The Pet Nanna, Sabrina Frank, also offers pet care while humans are away, as well as daytime walks for those whose people are hardworking or hard shopping. Though already sold out for much of the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays overnight-wise, Frank offers her gifts of love and care year round. Call 599-1080.

5. Collar covers

Ann Price of Brentwood makes ''precious collar covers'' for both dogs and cats.

''I had a dog that I loved more than life, Sid. I used to make collar covers for him so he could match whatever I was wearing. Now I make them for lots of pets, both dogs and cats,'' she said.

The holiday collar covers come in small, medium and large and are $2.49 each or three for $5. Call 373-8006 to order.